bored.yes.stressed.yes.

i went with izzy yesterday.
i went with naqiah today.
i will be going out with fatin tomorrow.
WHY DO I KEEP GOING OUT?
to run away..
from my so-called problems...
release stress...
coz when im out..
i dont think of stressful stuff..
im so emo.
at least i dont slash myself.
oh.i dunno.
why.
my tcher did not accept
the letter for quitting floorball.
its MY DECISION.
he said he wants to meet me..
but it havent happen.
my mum thinks he accepted the letter.
now she is worry-free..
(i think)
i didnt told her the part where
the tcher did not accept the letter.
i oni told he want to meet me.
i asked her to call the tcher..
she asked me to do it.
im trying to ask her to call him tmr.
pronto.
explain that he hadnt accept the letter.
im in a MESS.
anyway.its MY decision to quit.
not his.
jus becoz he thinks i can balance well
with my studies and cca..
doesnt mean i have no problem with my cca.
ok.i just dont belong in floorball.
HONESTLY.
i was stupid then..(ok maybe now too)
i chose floorball as a cca coz i wanna try something new..
i've never been into sports.
im more of artsy...and musical-y..(i love to sing)..
picking floorball was my stupid mistake..
even if i can play floorball well..
i dont have the passion for it..
its like playing for nothing..
i SHUD HAVE CHOSE BAND..
but IM STUPID..
i sumtimes hate myself..
i nvr like making choices.
i learnt my mistake.
i nvr see the future.
i nvr foresee.
i nvr see the whole big picture.
i oni see now.
so i learnt my lesson.
im trying to make it right.
by joining choir.

im so afraid of everything.
maybe not everything.
lately,dying,suffering,
so-called running from reality.
smiles dont always tell ur happy.
sick of my life.
when my life is stable...
i'll be happy.
but for now..im in a mess.
im trying to clean it up.
evry story has a problem..and this is mine.
here and now,its the climax of my story.

im lost and clueless.
even a map cant save me now.

P.S.so..i sound all depresso...what can i do?? i'll be my bubbly self again
when this problem is gone...i need time.